Victim Blaming is hurting our country
Sign being held at a protest.
Every 98 seconds someone in the U.S is sexually assaulted. Age and gender do not matter, it could happen to anyone. Sadly, this does include toddlers and younger children. 1 in 6 women experience some type of sexual assault. 1 in 33 men experience some type of sexual assault. 1 in 10 rape victims are men. 26.4% of women and 6.8% of men that are undergraduate students experience rape or sexual assault. Meaning this could have happened to your children or grandchildren without your knowledge.
Victim blaming is when someone says, implies, or treats a person who has experienced harmful or abusive behavior as if they are at fault for what happened to them. Victim blaming causes victims to stop speaking out against their abuser and silences their voice. Sexual violence is never the victim's fault. Sexual violence happens because a person decides to act in a harmful sexual way to another person.
When a woman comes forward about sexual assault, a lot of times they are asked something like “oh, well what were you wearing?” This statement is one of the single most hurtful things someone can say to a victim coming out about experiencing sexual assault. It automatically makes the victim feel invalidated, and regret coming out about their trauma. The statement “what were you wearing,” is said to women a lot more than it is said to men. This is due to the mindset of women dressing for men. Men also experience victim blaming and sexual violence. When men come out about sexual assault, they experienced a lot of the time someone will say “you’re a guy, that can't happen to you,” or “you should have known it was going to happen, consider yourself lucky.’ Society often downplays when sexual assault happens to men, because it does not happen as often as it does to women.
This is a 6-year old’s sun dress in an exhibit that brings awareness that someone’s outfit is not the reason for their assault.
The What were you wearing exhibit originated at the University of Arkansas in 2013. This exhibit was created to show the outfits of sexual assault survivors at the time of their attack. The exhibit hopes that by showing the clothes worn by survivors it proves that in fact it is not what the victim was wearing that caused their assault. The exhibit also features clothes of more well-known people, such as Paris Hilton and United Nations Deputy Secretary-General and other officials, to show it can happen to anyone; no matter what their status is.
Gender Bias also plays a role in victim blaming. We treat men differently when they come out about sexual assault simply because they are men. Women blame men for sexual violence that happens and often forget men can be victims too. By taking away the stereotype men will feel more confident about coming out about their assault.
Victim blaming is common when it comes to relationships, due to the relationship continuing. If a person stays in an abusive relationship, it does not mean they are not victims. They should not have to hear people say “Oh, well you’re letting it happen.” A lot of times victims will stay with their abusers since it is the best option at the time. This could be because of financial problems or other factors we do not know about.
Victim blaming can happen for a multitude of varied reasons. The family of the abuser do not want to believe that their precious son or daughter would do something terrible like that; the victim is someone you strongly dislike; or you simply think the victim is lying. These are all reasons people victim blame and there are more than what is listed. Anyone can be a victim, even if a victim overhears someone near them victim blaming the less likely they are to tell that person about what happened to them.
So, how do people stop victim blaming? Simple, do not make the victim feel as if it was their fault. This will help build the victim's voice and help them speak out about it more. If you hear the victim blaming confront it. By being able to recognize when victim blaming is happening, it will help bring awareness to others who might not realize they are victims blaming. If we can stop the trend of victim blaming, then more victims will feel more confident about coming forward about their abuse. Victims will have more of a voice and be less scared about being blamed for what happened.
We also need to start teaching men that the way someone is dressed does not mean that they have consent. In general, consent should be taught in schools. A lot of teens do not fully understand consent, so maybe if it is taught in schools, it will help lower the numbers of sexual assault. Parents should also teach consent at home, starting off with the basic idea of consent. This could be asking if their kid wants a hug before hugging them. If the child says no, then the parent would not hug their kid. By doing this the kid will understand they should ask before acting, and if they are told no, they should not try to do that action.
Abuse is never the victim’s fault.
National Sexual Assault Hotline:
800-656-4673
National helpline for male survivors:
National Street Harassment hotline:
855-897-5910
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
800-799-SAFE
Love is respect:
866-331-9474
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